I should have known while I was watching the Top Chef finale last night that something wasn’t right. I could hear a faint sound coming through the baby monitor. It was Addie Baby, sleeping, but restless. Whining in her sleep. I thought to myself, ‘Hmph, maybe that tooth is coming through and causing her some discomfort. Maybe I should have given her Tylenol before bed.’ And then again just before midnight when she started whimpering, but before my feet hit the floor she was silent again so I went back to sleep. Also when she woke up crying at 4:30. I found her curled up in the corner of her crib and thought she couldn’t get herself out of a tight position and needed some help. I walked back downstairs to bed thinking, ‘Maybe I should take her in the guest bedroom to lay down with me. No, that’s a bad idea, I’m afraid she’ll crawl off the bed.’ And at 5:45 she was up again crying but mostly whimpering and I thought, ‘Oh, she probably has a dirty diaper but we’ll be up for the day in just over an hour. If I change her now I’ll never get her back to sleep.’

All of these excuses as to why my baby – who has not woken up in the middle of the night in over a month – was awake, made perfect sense in my groggy head.

She woke up for the day at 6:45 – a little earlier than normal. Scott brought her into our bed. She felt warm but I thought nothing of it.  She wears a fleece sleep sack to bed and it’s not unusual for her to wake up with sweaty toes. But when she rolled towards my pillow and reached out to touch my cheek, it radiated heat. I knew then that my late night excuses were just that. I took her temperature and it’s official: Our girl is sick. This is probably not a big deal except, I don’t know how to handle a sick baby. I need someone here handling me. Someone needs to slap me and tell me to buck up and deal with it. It’s just a fever, right? Kids get fevers every day! But not my kid. Addison doesn’t get sick.

I keep trying to remember the some old phrase that may actually just be a line in a 90’s rap song. Something about starving a fever or feeding a cold. I don’t know. But I’ve based my whole morning around singing this House of Pain tune so I can cure my daughter. Instead of wasting time channeling Everlast and Googling her symptoms (Brain Damage, Meningitis…thanks Google!) I’m waiting (im)patiently for the pediatrician to return my call while Addison sleeps like a log. Now if I could only remember whether or not I was supposed to put her to bed in just a diaper…