• We had a rough week last week.  Addison’s fever lasted the entire week, we had to miss our friend’s birthday party and Addie went on a hunger strike agreeing to eat only popsicles and drink milk for SIX DAYS.  Oh, and she’s getting a molar.  Seven down, one to go.  We were finally able to venture out after a week-long (self-imposed) quarantine.  Which is good because if I had to watch Ratatouille (“Rat-ta-too!” Rat-ta-too!”) one more time I was going to take Addie to restaurant kitchen with real rats and let her see how that all works out in the end.

• This site has taught me two things:  1. there are truly disturbed people in this world and 2. they all shop at Wal-Mart.  I also never realized just how many people think it’s okay to leave the house wearing undergarments.  I have this blog in my google reader and I can’t stop reading it.   One More.  Wow!

• When your dog is dying manners fall by the wayside.  We don’t make Oliver work for his treats anymore.  There’s no holding it over his head until he sits or rolls over.  In fact, all he has to do is look at me with those huge brown eyes and I’m throwing him a chicken breast.  This has some negative side effects though because he’s starting to steal food right out of Addie’s hand.  He’ll just walk by her and grab the cracker, or apple slice or piece of cheese that she’s holding.  This sends Addie into hysterics because she apparently believes that he ate the last graham cracker on the face of the earth.  I used to get upset about that type of behavior from Oliver and reprimand him for it.  Now I just laugh and think, ‘Wow, I’m really going to miss you.’ 

• For the first time in FOREVER I actually started my Christmas shopping early.  I found some sales back in August that were too good to pass up.  The rest I’ll be doing largely online because facing a mall with a toddler in December is not my idea of a good time.  If you haven’t checked out Amazon.com’s wishlist feature lately, do.  Not only can you make multiple lists to organize everyone on your own shopping list, you can download a little button to your favorites bar that let’s you add an item from any shopping site right to your amazon wish list.  It’s amazing!  I love that it let’s me save my shopping finds without having to search through the cluster of bookmarks on my computer.

• Addison loves to read.  I read to her every day and I’ve been encouraging her to read on her own too.  This morning she grabbed a book and said, “Mama, Oliver read?” then she hopped in his bed and started reading to him. She even held up the book so he could see the pictures. No, this doesn’t break my heart at all!

I always go back and forth about whether or not to blog about the potty.  Mainly because I can’t imagine who would want to read about that crap (ha!).  I feel like this deserves a blog post though because, are you ready?  Addie is potty trained!  My 2 year, 2 week, 6 day old is 100% potty trained.  Potty trained as in we leave the house without a diaper.  Potty trained as in I haven’t purchased a package of diapers in over a month!  Sorry Luvs.  Potty trained as in it’s been 13 days since her last accident.  I feel like we should have one of those signs in the bathroom like they have in factories and warehouses.

We introduced the potty early.  At Addie’s 15 month appointment her  doctor said we should start thinking about the potty soon.  I was glad to hear that because we already bought a potty and had it set up in the half bath.  I tend to be a bit overzealous when it comes to shopping for new gadgets.  Can a potty be considered a gadget?

Addie was all into it for a while and then nothing.  She didn’t want to do anything on the potty, not even sit on it.  She would throw herself on the floor whining at the mere mention of the potty.  And then came the M&M’s.  I bought a bag of M&M’s thinking I would give her one as a reward if it would get her bum on the potty again.  Well, it worked and not only was she sitting on it, she was using it as intended.  I couldn’t believe that actually worked.  I laughed to myself a bit that she fell for it.  I mean, she had been fighting me for weeks and then she suddenly gives in over a piece of chocolate? 

Now there are critics who will tell you not to use candy as a reward.  There are critics who will tell you not to do just about anything.  I say, find what works for you and do it!  Sticker chart?  Elmo undies?  Special song and potty dance?  Letting them flush the toilet?

A few days after introducing the M&Ms Addie started running into the bathroom to pee a teeny tiny bit and then she would run out asking for an M&M.  Then she would run back in the bathroom and pee a teeny tiny bit more and run out asking for yet another M&M.  She was working the system and in two days she had me trained to give her candy whenever she wanted.  That’s cool.  It beats changing diapers.

Scott decided that Addison needed a keyboard with a microphone for her birthday.  You can tell he’s not the stay at home parent in this realtionship.  Since then Addison has been giving us daily concerts and I have to say, she’s pretty good.  I see a future on Broadway.

For old times sake…

• I’ve decided to take the DSLR plunge.  I’m saving my pennies for a new camera.  I’ve been doing a lot of research but as soon as I think I’ve made up my mind I read something that sways me in another direction.  I’m looking at Canon or Nikon.  If you have one, I want to hear your input on why you love – or hate – your camera.  Once I decide on a brand, I have no idea how I’ll narrow it down to a particular model.  One step at a time…

• The fever I wrote about earlier this week has been plaguing us every night.  Addie would be fine during the day and then as SOON as the pediatrician locked his doors for the evening, her temperature would creep back up.  She had a fever for 3 days and I didn’t take her to the doctor. Nice.  I figured she would kick whatever it was.  I told myself I’m not a new Mom anymore and don’t need to be running to the doctor for every little sniffle.  Ha!  She has a double ear infection and an infection in her throat.  Mom of the year! 

• Addie has this quirk where she only pronounces the first syllable of certain names or words.  Like my niece Bridget is “Bid”  and a pumpkin is “pum”.  With her being sick this week we’ve been stuck in the house a lot.  She’s been asking to watch her new favorite movie “Horton Hears a Who”.  Instead of saying the whole title, or even the whole name she just points to the TV and say “Hor”.  Makes me giggle every. single. time.  Because I’m 13.

• Terrible Twos be damned!  I am loving age 2.  Addison is much more rational than she was at this time last year.  She listens and comprehends and she even responds to what I’m saying.  With WORDS!  Communication is definitely not overrated.  I know I’m only 2 weeks into it, but temper tantrums were a daily battle last November.  Now?  Not so much.   She even helped me pick out nail polish at the store yesterday (“Mama, it’s peeeeetey. Yeah, Mama? Yeah?”)  Six months ago she would have been running through the aisles just for the thrill of the chase.

• Oliver is feeling much better thanks to an adjustment in his steroid dosage.  Monday was a scary day here.  On Monday I was sure Ollie wasn’t going to make it to the end of the week.  He is much happier now and his energy level is back up.  I am so grateful for whatever extra time we have with him.

Have a great weekend!

Good days and bad days.  That’s what the vet told us we could expect for the rest of Ollie’s life.  Yesterday was a bad day.

Yesterday Oliver didn’t hop out of bed when I got up to start the day.  Yesterday his lymph nodes were swollen at least three times larger than they have been to date.  Yesterday Ollie wasn’t acting like himself; he was having trouble breathing and eating at the same time.    Yesterday was a reminder of how few days Oliver has left with us.

Yesterday was a bad day. 

After a call to the vet and an adjustment in his meds, Ollie was feeling better in the afternoon.  Addison, on the other hand, had a runny nose.  She stopped what she was doing every 7 minutes to yell, “EEEHHHH!  Mama!  Nose!  IT HURTS!!!”  I would wipe her nose, she would go back to playing and we would repeat the whole exchange in just seven short minutes.  All day long.  Bad day.

When Scott walked in the door from work and found us wallowing in our bad day he said, “Get in the car we’re going to the park.”  And we did.  All four of us hopped into the car and went to the park.  Addie ran around the playground and didn’t scream about her nose once.  Ollie, who earlier in the day wouldn’t get off of his bed, pulled me for a long walk as he trailed the scent of some dog that had passed by earlier.  It was exactly what we all needed.

When we returned home and I called Addie to the table for dinner, she was suddenly cranky and told me she wanted to lay on the couch and drink her milk.  I touched her head and she was burning up.  Her temperature was 103.5.  Not an hour earlier, she was climbing the slide at the playground.  We threw her in the bathtub, gave her Tylenol and made sure her fever had come down before she went to bed.  Scott checked on her around midnight and found that her fever was back.  He woke her to take some Tylenol and give her a drink of milk.  For those of you, like me, who may have wondered if you’ll be able to tell the difference between spit-up and vomit?  You’ll know.  You never realize just how large a quantity 8 oz of milk is until it’s regurgitated all over your couch.  Also, a little parenting tip for those of you, like me, who may be tempted to take a sleep-aid on a night when you kid has a 103 fever?  Don’t do it.  There will be some late night emergency that requires your full attention.  Yesterday was a bad day.

Addie’s fever is down but she’s exhausted and her runny nose is driving her crazy.  The irony?  Today is one of Ollie’s good days.  You can’t win them all.

Last weekend our good friend Nicole agreed to take pictures of our family.  I had talked to her about it in the spring, but I pushed it to the back burner and sort of forgot about it.  Actually, I had a million excuses in my head why it wasn’t a good time to take pictures.

When we heard Ollie’s diagnosis it suddenly became urgent that we capture our family in this moment.  It’s probably not the first thing most people think of when they find out their dog is terminally ill, but we have no photos of the four of us together. 

It was also important to take these pictures before Ollie gets sick.  I didn’t want to be holding him up.  I didn’t want him to be laying there complying only because he’s too weak to move.  I wanted to get photos taken before playing in the park becomes a chore for Oliver instead of something he loves.  As an added bonus, she got some pretty great shots of Addie too.

Ollie and Addie had a great time running around the park even if we did have to bribe them with chicken sticks and M&M’s (respectively) when it came time to snap a photo.  I am so grateful to have these images that capture my family while it’s still whole.

One day in August my Mom called me and as soon as I answered the phone, she told me excitedly, “I’ve been working on Addison’s Halloween costume!”  I was about to climb atop my parental high-horse and give her a talking to about how I’m the Mama and I get to decide those things.  Instead I took a deep breath and said, “Oh really?  What is Addison going to be for Halloween?”  (See?  I’m evolving.)  “Dorothy form the Wizard of Oz!”  She was talking in exclamations that day because she was excited about the costume.  I suspect, from her tone of voice, that this was supposed to be a surprise for us, but she couldn’t keep it to herself any longer.  Since I thought that Dorothy was the perfect Halloween costume for my pig-tailed girl and her little black dog, I got excited about it too.  Good thing she didn’t picture Addie as a genocidal maniac.

Since we were having a Halloween themed party for Addison’s second birthday, her costume would also double as her party outfit.  I was thrilled to see how cute it turned out, no alterations needed.  Addison’s Nana flew in from Pittsburgh for a visit a few days before her birthday.  She was a huge help in setting up the festivities and Addison was pretty psyched to have her here so she could show off all of her new tricks.  We invited a lot of Addie’s friends and everyone really got into the spirit by showing up in costume. 

And for the adults who didn’t wear a costume but still wanted to join in on the fun, we had moustaches. 

I was worried, as I always am, about the kids being BORED at the party.  I had some organized games planned in case I caught them sitting around staring at each other, but they weren’t, so we never got around to playing them.  Besides, I don’t think toddlers are crazy about being rounded up for a game of pin-the-nose-on-the-pumpkin when they’re all playing nicely together.

My main goal was for Addison to have a good time at her party because the atmosphere in our house has been a little sad over the past few weeks while we’ve been dealing with Oliver’s medical issues.  For a few hours, I wanted her to have fun and play with her friends and just be 2.  And I was happy to have something else to focus on for a little while too.  I made sure Ollie got lots of love during the party.  He was walking around shaking hands and holding babies and enjoying the attention. 

(photo by Julia S.)

Addison had a blast at her birthday party.  I had been talking to her all week about how her friends were going to come over to celebrate her birthday but I could tell she wasn’t really comprehending what that would mean.   After she got over the initial shock of dozens of people in our home, I could see it all click for her and she really let loose.  I think every kid should look this happy on their birthday.

I was hoping the only blog post I would write today would be one wishing Addison a happy birthday.  I know that when Addison reads this in 20 years, she’ll understand why, on her second birthday, I couldn’t focus to edit pictures of her eating her special “A” pancakes, playing at Gymboree, picking out her birthday toy or dancing around in her Halloween costume.  Addison is having a nice birthday.  We are celebrating her and all she is becoming.  The pictures and the stories are coming, they are, but not today.   The cloud hanging over this day is too dark to ignore.  Oliver’s vet called this morning to let us know the results of his biopsy.  Ollie has high-grade malignant lymphoma. 

When we first met Oliver he wasn’t supposed to be a permanent fixture in our lives.  We were supposed to give him a home for two weeks to free up room in one shelter before he was moved to another shelter.  Two weeks.  It was perfect timing; not long enough to get attached, and he would leave our home just days before we were going on vacation.  We were doing a good deed – helping a dog and the over crowded shelter – but not making any commitments.  After one day in our home, I knew that Oliver was meant to be a part of our family.  I don’t know how  but I knew that he belonged here with us.  

As soon as we could we inquired about adopting Oliver and were told he was promised to another shelter.  He may already be spoken for by someone else.  But, if we couldn’t have Oliver they would find us “one of the other dogs”.  That wasn’t an option for me.  I didn’t another dog, Oliver was the one.  I called my Dad very upset (after 2 days!) at the thought of having to give him up to an uncertain fate.  He could end up with some other family that I knew would be totally wrong for him.  My Dad started scheming with me, “Dog’s run away, you know,” he said.  That’s it!  If they try to take Oliver back I will say he ran away.  If they come looking for him, I will hide him!  I don’t know if it was the pregnancy hormones that inspired the insanity in me but I was 100% ready to carry out the runaway dog plan.  It all worked out with no deceit necessary.  My point, is that I knew Oliver was meant to be a part of our family for the rest of his life.  I never imagined that life would be so short.  I know dogs die.  I know that they will eventually break your heart.  But I was picturing a decade with Oliver.  I was picturing Oliver walking with me – and the little girl in my belly - to the bus stop.  I was picturing him sleeping on the floor next to her big girl bed.  I was making plans that are never going to happen. 

I’m trying to find the lesson in all of this.  I know this must be happening for a reason and I’m trying so hard to figure out why, but it’s not clear yet.   Thank you for all of your prayers.  Please continue to pray for our boy and for us; that we will have the clarity to always do what’s best for him.

 Ollie is at the vet for his biopsy for most of the day and the house is too quiet without him.  Even with Scott home from work and Addison’s demands the house seems empty without his presence.  I decided that instead of sitting here thinking about what’s missing, I would get out of the house early this morning to pick up some supplies for Addison’s birthday party.

I reluctantly headed to Wal-Mart, having been through the Halloween aisles of Target more times than I care to admit.  I found a some cute activity books for the party favor bags and headed out.  While I was wrangling Addie into the car and she was screaming something  about a cracker (yes, a cracker) Scott called with an update on Oliver.  I was trying to talk to Scott and get my little octopus buckled into her seat at the same time.  Mission accomplished.  I got in the car and drove off.  I made it across the street when I realized that my purse was not sitting on the passenger seat in it’s usual spot.  I hopped out to check the cargo area – nope – not there either.  I jumped in the car and sped back over to Wal-Mart.  Three, four minutes tops had passed since I pulled away.  I went right back to my parking spot – still empty! – but the purse was gone.  GONE!

Some low-life scumbag took my purse right out of the carriage.  Couldn’t have taken what they wanted ($7?) and left it.  Couldn’t have turned it in to customer service.  No, they took it.  I hope they enjoy my $7 and my favorite headband and my Bonnie Bell Lip Smacker.  Ugh…and my new hoop earrings.  I hope they choke on Addison’s graham crackers. 

The credit card companies have been notified but I’m steaming mad.  Would anyone like to come over and kick me in the shins?  Pull Addie’s pigtails?  Break in and steal my wedding albums? 

This is not my week.